A Commandment...

I was raised with lots of commandments.  Not just the Main Ten (Exodus 20), or the Big Two (Matthew 22), but I'm a Mormon, right? So we have even extra- like the Word of Wisdom (no drinking alcohol, tea, or coffee; no tobacco; be healthy, etc.)  for example.  Of course not everyone knows about commandments, or if they do know, maybe they choose to not follow them.  But I always assumed that, Christianity being a major world religion, a solid majority of people would have a basic working knowledge of the Ten Commandments and attempt to obey them.  But...  Every year that goes past I become more and more astounded at the overlooking I see of one in particular- Number Four.

Here it is in the version of the Bible I read (King James):
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

 9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

 10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

 11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

 Here it is from the NIV:

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. ¹¹ For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. 

 The New Living Translation:

8 "Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days a week are set apart for your daily duties and regular work, 10 but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to the LORD your God. On that day no one in your household may do any kind of work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; then he rested on the seventh day. That is why the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.

The Good News Translation:

8 "Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy. 9 You have six days in which to do your work, 10 but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to me. On that day no one is to work - neither you, your children, your slaves, your animals, nor the foreigners who live in your country. 11 In six days I, the Lord, made the earth, the sky, the seas, and everything in them, but on the seventh day I rested. That is why I, the Lord, blessed the Sabbath and made it holy.  

Four different ways of saying it, but it comes down to the same thing.  There are many schools of thought about what is appropriate to do on the Sabbath, but one thing seems certain to me:  you shouldn't work, and you shouldn't do anything that leads others to work!  So why!!??!?!  Why is the bx parking lot packed on Sunday?  Why is Sunday the Commissary's busiest day?  What happened to the common consensus that Sunday was a day different from the others?  I very much value the opportunity to take a rest!  (Not that taking three small children to church and doing my best at whatever church duties I have always makes for the most "restful" of days...)  How different would society be if people focused on their families and their relationship with God on at least one day a week?  

Here are some quotes and scriptures...

“The manner in which we spend the Sabbath is a sign of our inner attitude toward God…  Observance of the Sabbath is an indication of the depth of our conversion.”

- Mark E. Petersen, Ensign May 1975

“The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things.  Abstinence from work and recreation is important but insufficient.  The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it.  To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, sleeping, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day to which he is expected.  To fail to do these proper things is a transgression on the omission side.”

-Spencer W. Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness

“The matter of Sabbath observance remains to this day as one of the great tests which divides the righteous from the worldly and wicked.”

-Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine

“We note that in our Christian world in many places we still have business establishments open… on the sacred Sabbath.  We are sure the cure of this lies in ourselves, the buying public.  Certainly the stores and business houses would not remain open if we, the people, failed to purchase from them.  Will you all please reconsider this matter.  Take it to your home evenings and discuss it with your children.  It would be wonderful if every family determined that henceforth no Sabbath purchase would be made.”

-Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Nov. 1975

“Too frequently we come to worship and to leave our offerings without attempting to prepare our inner selves to the same degree of perfection that we achieve in our outward dress and grooming.”

-Robert L. Simpson, Conf. Rep. Oct. 1966

“The purpose of the Sabbath is for spiritual uplift, for a renewal of our covenants, for worship, for rest, for prayer.  It is for the purpose of feeding the spirit, that we may keep ourselves unspotted from the world by obeying God’s command.”

-Ezra Taft Benson, God, Family, Country:  Our Three Great Loyalties

Gen. 2:2-3

Ex. 16:29

Ex. 20:8-11

Ex. 31:16-17

Lev. 25:3-7, 20-22

Isa. 56:1-8

Isa. 58:13

Neh. 10:31

Neh. 13:15-22

Matt. 12:8, 10-13

Mark 2:27

Luke 13:11-16

Luke 14:5

Acts 20:7

Rev. 1:10

D&C 59:9-20, 90

D&C 68:29

D&C 98:3

Cinnamon Roll Cake

This is seriously good...  You can make this the night before and leave it raw in the fridge overnight to bake in the morning- a good Christmas Morning treat.

-Grease a large casserole dish, the size larger than a 9x13.  (The recipe is supposed to be for a 9x13, but I figure why not spread it out a bit more so it goes further?)
-For the cake:
3 c flour
1/4 t salt
1 c sugar
4 t baking powder
1 1/2 c milk
2 eggs
2 t vanilla
1/2 c butter, melted
-Mix it all together in a big bowl in order.  Pour it into pan.
-For the topping:
1 c butter, softened
1 c brown sugar
2 T flour
1 T cinnamon
-Mix topping ingredients, drop onto the cake and swirl.
-Bake at 350 degrees for 32 minutes.
-While cake is baking, make the glaze:
2 c powdered sugar
5 T milk
1 t vanilla
-Drizzle on warm cake just from the oven.

Yes...

I think I just found my next birthday cake...

This recipe was voted the best Blogger recipe in 2012 and my friend Marie from the English Kitchen is generous enough to share it with you. I made this yesterda...y and it is insanely good.

Fudge Brownie Pie

3/4 cup flour
1 cup of regular sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
4 ounces butter, melted
2 large free range eggs, beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup chopped toasted pecans
2 handfuls of mini marshmallows

For the frosting:

2 ounces butter, melted (1/4 cup)
1 ounce cocoa powder, sifted (1/4 cup)
2 ounces evaporated milk (1/4 cup)
1 cup powdered sugar, sifted (8 ounces)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9 inch spring form pan set aside.

Whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt in a bowl. Beat together the butter, eggs and vanilla. Add to the dry ingredients and mix until smooth. Stir in the toasted nuts. Pour into the prepared pan.

Bake on a middle shelf of the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Immediately sprinkle the marshmallows on top and return to the oven for a few minutes to melt the marshmallows. Remove from the oven and carefully spread the chocolate frosting over top.

To make the chocolate frosting mix all ingredients together in a bowl, beating with an electric whisk until smooth and thick. Spread on the hot marshmallows. Let cool completely. Cut into wedges to serve.

Happiest Day of My Life, and Cute Girls...

The playground is finished!  We chose our house here on base because it had a playground in the back yard.  Sadly, it was all fenced off pending repairs.  The housing people assured us that it would be up and running any day.  Almost a year later...  Still.  Very much worth the wait!  The big girls now go play for long periods of time, and I can go sit on a shady bench and watch the little one play too.  It is fantastic!  (I love living on base...)

And some pictures of cute girls...

Miss A- still loving the cowboy boots...

Miss M- getting very good at the scooter...

And Miss R- funny little babe.

"A Strong Family Narrative..."

This Life

The Stories That Bind Us

Sarah Williamson

Families may want to create a mission statement similar to the ones many companies use to identify their core values.

By BRUCE FEILER

Published: March 15, 2013 

I hit the breaking point as a parent a few years ago. It was the week of my extended family’s annual gathering in August, and we were struggling with assorted crises. My parents were aging; my wife and I were straining under the chaos of young children; my sister was bracing to prepare her preteens for bullying, sex and cyberstalking.

Sure enough, one night all the tensions boiled over. At dinner, I noticed my nephew texting under the table. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help myself and asked him to stop.

Ka-boom! My sister snapped at me to not discipline her child. My dad pointed out that my girls were the ones balancing spoons on their noses. My mom said none of the grandchildren had manners. Within minutes, everyone had fled to separate corners.

Later, my dad called me to his bedside. There was a palpable sense of fear I couldn’t remember hearing before.

“Our family’s falling apart,” he said.

“No it’s not,” I said instinctively. “It’s stronger than ever.”

But lying in bed afterward, I began to wonder: Was he right? What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?

It turns out to be an astonishingly good time to ask that question. The last few years have seen stunning breakthroughs in knowledge about how to make families, along with other groups, work more effectively.

Myth-shattering research has reshaped our understanding of dinnertime, discipline and difficult conversations. Trendsetting programs from Silicon Valley and the military have introduced techniques for making teams function better.

The only problem: most of that knowledge remains ghettoized in these subcultures, hidden from the parents who need it most. I spent the last few years trying to uncover that information, meeting families, scholars and experts ranging from peace negotiators to online game designers to Warren Buffett’s bankers.

After a while, a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.

I first heard this idea from Marshall Duke, a colorful psychologist at Emory University. In the mid-1990s, Dr. Duke was asked to help explore myth and ritual in American families.

“There was a lot of research at the time into the dissipation of the family,” he told me at his home in suburban Atlanta. “But we were more interested in what families could do to counteract those forces.”

Around that time, Dr. Duke’s wife, Sara, a psychologist who works with children with learning disabilities, noticed something about her students.

“The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she said.

Her husband was intrigued, and along with a colleague, Robyn Fivush, set out to test her hypothesis. They developed a measure called the “Do You Know?” scale that asked children to answer 20 questions.

Examples included: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth?

Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush asked those questions of four dozen families in the summer of 2001, and taped several of their dinner table conversations. They then compared the children’s results to a battery of psychological tests the children had taken, and reached an overwhelming conclusion. The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The “Do You Know?” scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.

“We were blown away,” Dr. Duke said.

And then something unexpected happened. Two months later was Sept. 11. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children.

“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”

Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack?

“The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.

Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative, he explained, and those narratives take one of three shapes.

First, the ascending family narrative: “Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you. ...”

Second is the descending narrative: “Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything.”

“The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke continued, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ”

Dr. Duke said that children who have the most self-confidence have what he and Dr. Fivush call a strong “intergenerational self.” They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.

Leaders in other fields have found similar results. Many groups use what sociologists call sense-making, the building of a narrative that explains what the group is about.

Jim Collins, a management expert and author of “Good to Great,” told me that successful human enterprises of any kind, from companies to countries, go out of their way to capture their core identity. In Mr. Collins’s terms, they “preserve core, while stimulating progress.” The same applies to families, he said.

Mr. Collins recommended that families create a mission statement similar to the ones companies and other organizations use to identify their core values.

The military has also found that teaching recruits about the history of their service increases their camaraderie and ability to bond more closely with their unit.

Cmdr. David G. Smith is the chairman of the department of leadership, ethics and law at the Naval Academy and an expert in unit cohesion, the Pentagon’s term for group morale. Until recently, the military taught unit cohesion by “dehumanizing” individuals, Commander Smith said. Think of the bullying drill sergeants in “Full Metal Jacket” or “An Officer and a Gentleman.”

But these days the military spends more time building up identity through communal activities. At the Naval Academy, Commander Smith advises graduating seniors to take incoming freshmen (or plebes) on history-building exercises, like going to the cemetery to pay tribute to the first naval aviator or visiting the original B-1 aircraft on display on campus.

Dr. Duke recommended that parents pursue similar activities with their children. Any number of occasions work to convey this sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers, even a ride to the mall. The hokier the family’s tradition, he said, the more likely it is to be passed down. He mentioned his family’s custom of hiding frozen turkeys and canned pumpkin in the bushes during Thanksgiving so grandchildren would have to “hunt for their supper,” like the Pilgrims.

“These traditions become part of your family,” Dr. Duke said.

Decades of research have shown that most happy families communicate effectively. But talking doesn’t mean simply “talking through problems,” as important as that is. Talking also means telling a positive story about yourselves. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.

The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.

“This Life” appears monthly in Sunday Styles. This article is adapted from Bruce Feiler’s recently published book, “The Secrets of Happy Families: How to Improve Your Morning, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smart, Go Out and Play, and Much More.”

A version of this article appeared in print on March 17, 2013, on page ST1 of the New York edition with the headline: The Stories That Bind Us.

More on Snakes...

Copied from http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/02/22/172695707/dead-mice-are-going-to-be-dropped-on-guam-from-helicopters-really

Dead Mice Are Going To Be Dropped On Guam From Helicopters (Really)

by Mark Memmott

February 22, 201312:17 PM

 

Orlando/Getty Images

Here's the latest plan scientists have come up with to kill some of the estimated 2 million brown tree snakes that have wiped out many other animals on Guam:
In April or May they're going to lace dead mice with painkillers, attach them to little parachutes, drop them from helicopters and hope that they get snagged in the jungle foliage. Then, if all goes well, the snakes — which as their name implies hang out in trees — will eat the mice and die from ingesting the painkillers' active ingredients.
We aren't kidding. That's what The Associated Press is reporting from Guam's Andersen Air Force Base, near where this experimental airdrop will happen.
To work, the snakes are going to have to discover their snacks from the sky fairly quickly. According to the Department of Agriculture's Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service:

"Dead mice are attractive to snakes only for 2-3 days. After this time, and owing to the tropical climate, the lure is no longer available."

Scientists don't think the mice bombs will be a threat to other animals, so long as they get caught in the jungle canopy. There aren't many birds left on the island — because of the snakes.
As NPR's Christopher Joyce reported last September, "the brown tree snake invaded Guam over 60 years ago — they sneaked in aboard boats or in the wheel wells of airplanes." It's feared that they might show up elsewhere, such as Hawaii, if they hop rides on planes and ships leaving Guam. The Agriculture Department has estimated that if the snakes reached the Aloha State, the economic damage "from medical incidents [bites], power outages [they get caught in power lines and transmitters], and decreases in tourism ... would range from approximately $593 million to $2.14 billion annually."
The snakes' presence in Guam has been good for at least some creatures. Chris reported that because the snakes have eaten most of the island's birds, the spider population has exploded.
Update at 3:30 p.m. ET. Birds' Decline Has Taken A Toll.
From a 2011 report posted on Andersen Air Base's website:

" 'As you may or may not know, the brown tree snake is responsible for the extinction of nine of 12 forest birds on Guam,' explained [Marc Hall, the supervisory wildlife biologist of USDA on Andersen]. 'Research is showing that the loss of the birds may be impacting the ability of the natural ecosystem to sustain itself.'

"Before the snakes arrived, Guam's ecosystem was very different. Numerous birds could be seen and heard when walking through the northern limestone forests. Without the birds to disperse seeds and the fact that nonnative pigs and deer tear up the ground and eat sapling plants, the native limestone forest has been severely degraded and will require extensive help in order to recover."

Update at 3:15 p.m. ET. Live Vs. Dead Bait:
Some readers in the comments thread have expressed surprise that snakes would eat dead — not live — mice. This research paper posted online by the Agriculture Department indicates that in earlier tests, the snakes did devour "dead neonatal mice adulterated with 80-mg acetaminophen" and that the "baiting" with laced mice was effective in killing the snakes.
The researchers also concluded that "other tactics to increase area of coverage and decrease labor costs, such as aerial application of baits, would improve the cost efficiency of the baiting method over trapping even further."
Our thanks to reader Daniel Levitis for leading to that study.

Miss M's Birthday...

Our little Miss M FINALLY turned four!  I say finally, because she is a very big girl, with a quite advanced vocabulary, and I was tired of people freaking out when they asked me how old she was and I told them "Three".

 Here she is!  Building puzzles and coloring.

Here is the cake.  I sort of sweet-talked her into a cowgirl party this year.  I don't know why, but I'm trying to make it as long as possible without throwing a princess party.  With three girls, I know it can't be forever...  It was my kind of cake- heavy on the frosting.  Of course, my pinterest plans involved carving a way cool cake in the shape of a boot, but as my surrogate grandfather Dr. E always said, "Deadlines exist to save us from perfection."  Wise words...

 We had the kids play horseshoes.  A bold move, and one fraught with danger, (nine small children throwing heavy chunks of iron) but it ended up ok. 

Keeping Miss R out of the way was the big challenge...

 And then the pinata.  I, as usual, had big pinterest plans involving making my own pinata, which then downgraded into spraying this kmart one silver and turning it into a sheriff's badge, which then downgraded into just leaving it the way it was.  I know the kids don't care a bit.  All the silly theme stuff is just for me.  When I was a kid my birthday parties involved cake, ice cream, and musical chairs, and they were fun!  No themes.  No fuss.

And yes, we did re-use the light saber from Miss A's party to hit the pinata with.

 The kids all took a whack at it, then we brought our friend and helper K in as closer.  B was a lot more tricky with her...

 Blow out the candles, open presents, and then for some photos before everyone left.

 It was a fun party!

And to close out the day, we went to a fun free concert on base.  Vertical Horizon!