Journaling...

I've been trying to include more writing in our homeschool, especially since Miss A throws MONSTER fits about anything to do with it.  She's in forth grade!  I feel like she should be writing all the time.  So each morning we start with a little journal time.  Today I had the prompt "Would you rather go the the North Pole or the South Pole?"

Here is my entry:
I would rather, right now, visit the South Pole than the North.  Mostly this is because it is summer there, and therefore light.  So I could actually see what is there.  Besides, I like penguins.  Polar bears are very appealing and absolutely adorable, but the thought of being close to them in pitch blackness is fairly terrifying.  They are the biggest land predator, right?  The girls of course are probably writing that they would rather visit the North, so they could see Santa.  And of course in his large hidden under-ice kingdom there would be plenty of light.

Here is Miss M's:
If I had to choose Between the North Pole or the South Pole I would choose the North Pole to visit Santa and the elv's and Miss Claus.  But I would like to visit the Pengwens too.  You could go sking in the DARK!  I would sleep in an Igloo.  I would have a pet poler bear.  We could pet the Reandeer.  My favorate Reandeer is Roudalph.

Here is Miss A's (after one of the aforementioned huge fits, and me sending her to bed for an hour):
I wouldrathervisit the North PolethanthesouthpolebecauseIcould visit Santa.  And slide withpoler bares.swimwith walrases.And seethe elfs.See flying raindear.Make Christmas peresents.eatcandy and cookies.Make gingerbread houses.Go sleding.And skeaing.

(My general rule is that they need to write as many sentences as their years, thus Miss A's interesting period placement.)
(Any advice on improving writing for ten-year-olds?)